“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!’”

–Dad Jokesⁱ

June means the end of school and the beginning of summer, but what it’s really all about happens in the middle—Father’s Day! It’s time to bust out our favorite Dad Jokes and celebrate the man who makes them funny. He brings the finest one-liners, but what will you bring Dad this June 16th? Historically, the most popular gift for Father’s Day is neckties^{ii iii} but our family doesn’t need more of those. We’re guessing yours doesn’t either, so we came up with three gift ideas that are way better than ties.

“Every Dad is entitled to one hideous shirt and one horrible sweater. It's part of the Dad code.”

–Tom Baker (Steve Martin), Cheaper By the Dozen 2

No, we’re not suggesting you gift him a hideous shirt—he’s accomplished at finding his own. We think every Dad should enjoy good health as much as he enjoys that one horrible sweater. Instead, help him detox his grooming routine this Father’s Day. From shaving oils to cologne to manly moisturizers, our personal care selection has something to break through every Dad code. What they don’t have is synthetic fragrances, parabens or formaldehyde that might sneak into his hygiene routine. Help him wear that sweater so much better!

“What did the mountain climber name his son? … ‘Cliff!’”

–Dad Jokes ^iv

Your initial introduction to the great outdoors as a kid often features Dad in the starring role. In honor of the guy who helped you make your first s’more and told you your first scary campfire story, how about a gift of planet-friendly outdoor gear? With everything from Hydro Flasks to compostable paper plates and human-safe and environmentally-friendly sunscreens and bug sprays, a gift basket that’s as fun as Dad Jokes should be easy to create. Don’t forget the titanium spork!

“Real Dads just want bacon.”

That is according to Andy Smithson, a real dad quoted in a blog titled “What Do Dads Really Want for Father’s Day?”^v Smells like a fantastic idea to us, if it’s animal welfare conscious and antibiotic-, synthetic growth-promotant and artificial preservative free. Should vegetarian bacon be his preference, there are plenty of tantalizing alternatives too, and we can help you find them. We’re guessing a side of pancakes with some pure maple syrup won’t hurt his feelings, either, as long as he doesn’t have to do the dishes. Share the gift of delicious food with Dad— just make sure it’s as protective of his health as he is of you.

“You want to be that rock your kids grab hold of in a stormy sea… Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.”

–Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

How better could we close a tribute to the “old man” than with some Philosophizing from TV’s most relatable dad? Joking aside though, we have a heart full of thanks for the wisdom, the unconditional love and the irrepressible sense of humor that Dads always bring.

Happy Father’s Day!